Deconstructionism

I was reading reviews of an academic deconstructionist's lectures when I suddenly realized that this was a word that described my philosophical approach to God, religion and everyday life.

Deconstructionist.

While taking a class at my church that teaches the basics of what the church fundamentally believes, I was informed that if I could not get behind their core doctrines, then becoming a member of the church would not be right for me.

Why couldn't I get behind their core doctrines? Well, it was not because I was diametrically opposed to them in my own beliefs. I did not hold beliefs that were opposite those of the church. Rather, I just found that they were certain of "truths" I knew I could not share their certainty about. I saw holes in their arguments and in the presentation of their beliefs. I was looking at those things they were dancing around and avoiding. I was looking at them honestly, and looking at them left me with a lot of questions, including, "Does this really matter at all?"

In these reviews of the academic lecturer, one critic said that deconstructionism was empty, that it tore apart the beliefs of others while not offering any authoritative beliefs of its own. Deconstructionists, this reviewer argued, shoot arrows at others from the safely of their empty towers.

I disagree with that reviewer, but I was intrigued by his argument. I disagree with him because my deconstructionism and agnosticism have been building blocks for my spiritual journey and personal relationship with both God and this life. I like what it has given me, and the fullness it has contributed to my life.

I do not pretend to be confident of those things I am not confident about. I see this level of honesty with myself and others as an asset, not a hinderance. Plus, it is reasonable, common sense, not to lie to yourself about what you really know or are confident about.

If you are interested, I contribute to Mornings with Jesus everyday, and you can see here how my doubt and deconstructionism fruitfully contributes to my relationship with God.